Don’t be miserable in advance.

When I saw this saying last week, it reminded me of the days I was my most anxious. It was about a decade ago. Life was good and, compared to most people, I was at a place of supreme privilege. What the hell did I have to be upset/anxious/worried about? And yet there I was - anxious, catastrophizing, seeing every glass as half empty.

I spent so much time and energy conjuring up the insane possibilities that might occur, that I had no real energy for much else.

“They lose the day in expectation of the night, and the night in fear of the dawn.” - Seneca

Anxiety has a way of convincing us that rehearsing the worst-case scenario will somehow protect us. But all it does is rob us of today. That suffering doesn’t just weigh on our mental health, it actively steals from our best work. Anxiety drains the energy we could otherwise be using to create, solve, connect, and perform. Instead of putting our full focus into the task in front of us, we’re half-present, juggling today’s work while fighting tomorrow’s ghosts.

Sadly, when I asked over 200 people if they had experienced any anxiety at work just in the last 3 months, a whopping 57% said yes. Scary stuff!

Think about it. How much energy do we waste worrying about a meeting next week, a presentation we haven’t given, or feedback we haven’t even received? And imagine all of the lost ideas and productivity because of it.

Anxiety: a thief of performance.

Think about it through the lens of prepping for a big presentation. One version of us spends the week tied up in knots, rehearsing all the ways it might go wrong: What if I forget my lines? What if the audience hates it? By the time we step up, we’ve burned so much emotional energy that we’re exhausted before we even start.

But then the other (more resilient, more prepared) version of us enters! The presentation is coming either way. We’ll prepare, do the work, and when the day arrives, we’ll handle it then. That version shows up calm, sharp, and ready.

The difference is what we did with our worry. The first burned energy in advance. The second saved it for the moment that actually mattered.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to prepare, so we still need to manage that part of our brain where we can make smart decisions. But overthinking and over-catastrophizing doesn’t help at all.

Why are we anxious?

Just like most modern quirks, it’s part of our wiring. The human brain evolved to scan for danger to keep our ancestors alive. But in the modern workplace, the “threats” are no longer rogue saber-toothed tigers. Instead, they’re vague emails, tight deadlines, micromanaging bosses, and hundreds of what-ifs. Our biology still reacts as though every uncertain future might be life or death.

It’s exhausting.

The problem is that our biological response is outdated. Anxiety tricks us into thinking that anticipating disaster equals control. But that “control” is an illusion. Worry doesn’t change the outcome. It only sabotages our ability to meet the future with strength.

I see resilience as our quiet rebellion. It’s staying so focused on doing the work, right here, right now, so that we don’t have time to care about tomorrow’s shadows.

Here are a few tools to help discard or reduce anxiety:

• Write it down. Research has shown that if we spend about 10 mins writing down a steady free-flow of worrying thoughts, it allows our our mind to actually let go of it so that we can focus. A study of kids doing exams at school revealed that a quick brain-dump of fears, thoughts, or imagined scenarios stops the mental spin and creates space for clarity for them to perform better. Also, often what feels massive in our head looks petty or solvable on paper.

• Don’t make space for it. Gratitude is our weapon. When we practice it, the brain tunes into what’s good, which reduces the mental real estate fear and anxiety can occupy. We might feel both anxious and grateful, but focusing on gratitude makes fear less sticky. It’s a simple, repeatable practice that’s backed by neuroscience and it’s one of the most powerful tools we have to steady ourselves in tough times.

• Flag the pattern. If we can catch the loop early, we can name it to tame it. Say it out loud such as “I’m worried about x.” This small interruption builds awareness and returns our mind to now and then we give our brains the chance to switch from emotional brain to logical brain. It’s easier to fight shadows when we name them.

• Ground in the now. Right now is all that matters. This is our moment of mindfulness. To practice this we need to ask what’s true right now? Not what-ifs, but what is. Anchor to our senses if we have to. Feel our feet, our breath, focus and name three things around us. Where anxiety lives in the future, our power lives in the present.

• Do the reps. If rumination is suffering, then planning is strength. My pal Arnold was a legend at this - he once practiced a 6 min speech over 50 times! Reps build confidence which is a great antidote for anxiety.

Anxiety has been a thief of productivity for me. It convinced me that I was preparing for the future, when really I was just bleeding energy away from the moment. It still reappears at certain times, but I refuse to let myself be miserable in advance anymore.

Instead, I use these tools above to get busy with the meaningful, important work in front of me. We should let the news come when it comes. And when it does, we’ll be too engaged, too capable, and too resilient to be shaken. Let’s be done being miserable in advance.

Until next time friends, stay resilient.

Carré @ Resilient Minds

PS - it’s back to school season and that means back to work. Get your teams ready for the busy seasons ahead with a workshop. I can do them online or in person. Reply here for more info.