Ways to get unstuck

I love doing resilience workshops and presentations. I’m here in Brisbane this week and it’s been fantastic to have sessions lined up with marketing agencies, recruitment firms, law firms, and health services. In fact, sitting a room of energized people, talking about resilience and mental wellness at work is one of my favourite parts of the job. But it’s also a brilliant reminder that there are still companies out there investing in their people. And that’s what’s really inspiring! It means there are leaders who genuinely desire for their teams to grow.

Sadly, not every organization gets it. Many still underestimate the value of development which results in distrust, disengagement, and a debilitating leak of motivation. At nearly every networking event I’ve been to lately, someone has shared that they feel stuck or undervalued because they’re not growing. The only reason they usually stay is because the market is so bad right now and they haven’t been able to get something new. One person told me they’d applied for over a hundred roles without hearing back about any application.

So, what do we do when we feel stuck at work, and can’t just walk away?

This is the crossroads where resilience, purpose, and control intersect. Feeling trapped under a draining boss or stagnant culture can spiral into cynicism, quiet quitting or no motivation to even show up to work. But that’s not a viable solution and it’s also where the true opportunity for resilience begins. It’s the important moment when we need to reclaim agency when the system won’t hand it to us.

Because no one is going to chase us down to make sure we feel empowered. If we want that feeling, we have to go and find it.

Here are a few ways to move forward with agency, even when we feel stuck:

1. Call it what it is. If we’re in a toxic or uninspiring culture, we can’t pretend it’s fine. We’ll never grow or build any resilience in denial. The weather is a perfect metaphor for this: we’d never say it’s sunny when it’s pouring rain. To find a way forward, we can remember that preventative resilience means expecting the storm and having the right umbrella for the moment. Because acceptance frees up energy - every minute spent wishing the boss or culture would change is energy stolen from doing something meaningful. So we need to stop fighting the weather and focus on the things that are within our control.

2. Turn the job into a gym. Even if we can’t move up, we can still train. Growth isn’t only vertical, it’s also (and usually more importantly) inward. If we treat our current role like a paid training ground. we can experiment with new ways of growing ourselves. These include

   1. Leading without authority. We might not have the official direct reports, but we can still influence peers, navigate conflict, and communicate clearly.

   2. Learning from bad leaders. This is about seeking the lesson, because bad leaders can often teach us a lot about what not to do… which can also be exceptionally important at times.

   3. Building a “resilience resume.” We can pay attention and capture lessons that will shape our future chapters. Every challenge today is an opportunity for us to tell a resilience story tomorrow.

3. Perform for ourself. When leaders don’t recognize our effort, bitterness can seep in. But resentment drains the very energy we need to rise. So we need to perform to our own standard and master our craft. We should build escape velocity by learning new tools, expanding our network, and creating a body of work that reflects who we are. That means finding useful courses, getting to networking events, and starting to build a portfolio we’ll be proud to talk about when the opportunity arises. Resilient people prepare for the next chapter quietly, intentionally, and without apology.

4. Protect our energy. Toxic bosses can hijack our nervous system with excessive stress. That’s why protecting our psychological baseline is critical. Exercise, journaling, meditation all help! Whatever helps separate their noise from our voice is the way forward, because we’ll never show up resiliently if we’re constantly depleted.

5. The real promotion. Resilient people understand and accept that sometimes the only promotion available is the one we give ourselves. That is the shift from victim of circumstance to architect of meaning. Because it’s always easier to wait for others to change… but they never do. And, anyway, real power is evolving ourselves to meet the moment. Time for us to step up into the role that we control.

The most important thing with all of the above is that our happiness is only ever up to us. In the end, resilience isn’t built when we have the perfect job or work under the perfect leader. It’s actually built when we have to practice living and operating in the messy middle. That’s when we choose to grow through every challenge, every storm, every setback. They all become training for what’s next.

So that’s all we can do. Let’s keep building, keep choosing, and keep evolving. Because that’s how we build resilience.

Until next time friends, stay resilient.

Carré @ Resilient Minds