The struggle shapes the solution

Welcome to the mid-week edition of The Resilience Brief. I send these specifically on Wednesdays as a bit of extra fuel to get over the hump day and finish the week on top. Have an amazing second half of the week and, as always, I am grateful and glad that you’re here!

Last Friday, I was running a workshop on resilience for a group of leaders in Vancouver when an earthquake hit. It wasn’t a massive quake (4.7 magnitude), but it was enough to get us out of our seats and rattled for a few moments. Obviously, no one wants an earthquake, but we couldn’t help acknowledging the fact that perhaps this was nature’s way of proving the point of the workshop.

Resilience is about our ability to handle life's curveballs - big and small. A small earthquake in the middle of a meeting caused some disruption as we stopped mid-conversation, exited the building, called family and friends to make sure everyone was ok, and then got back to it.

It’s just the way that life works - things often don't go as planned, and we have to be prepared to adapt accordingly. In fact, when things don’t go our way, it’s actually demonstrating to us that there is opportunity in every adversity (hence me using the moment to help me articulate this point!).

Here’s another example. Most successful businesses are created because the founders found a problem worth solving, often for themselves. Some of the most popular bagel shops in San Francisco, London, and plenty of other cities around the world are founded by former New Yorkers who just wanted good bagels in their new community, similar to what they were used to back home. The problem became the solution.

The point is that often the challenges we face in life are acting as road signs or indicators to light the path forward.

“What stands in the way becomes the way.” - Marcus Aurelius

Marcus Aurelius was a Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher who understood this concept well. It was true for him 2000 years ago, and it’s true for us today.

Every challenge presents an opportunity for a way forward for growth and development. That challenging client that we have to constantly navigate, the colleague who cannot make up their mind, the unexpected setback….. the list goes on. These are not just things to get past, they are the path. Obstacles force us to think differently, to develop new skills, and to push beyond our comfort zones. They are invitations to become stronger, more capable, and more resilient.

This mindset shift is crucial. If we expect life to be void of friction, we’ll just be frustrated every time things don’t go as planned. But if we embrace challenges as part of the process, we stop wasting energy fighting reality and start using obstacles as fuel for progress.

This applies to everything, including our relationships and careers. The difficult conversations we avoid are often the ones that lead to deeper understanding. The failures we fear can be our greatest teachers. And the moments of discomfort we try to escape are where real growth happens.

How to practice this regularly.

No one wakes up and says “I can’t wait for today’s challenges!” but there are ways to practice the skill so that we wake up with the mindset that we can get through any challenge. Here are a few ways to integrate these tools into our daily life:

1. See every problem as an opportunity. Ok, this is easier said than done and it takes a lot of practice. But it works. It’s a powerful reframe and, with this simple shift, we are re-programming ourselves to see the opportunity for growth. Instead of viewing a demanding client as a hassle, let’s see them as an opportunity to sharpen our communication and negotiation skills. Each time we get irritated, let’s ask ourselves, “what’s the opportunity here?”

2. Build emotional agility. Frustration and stress are natural responses to obstacles. The key is not to let them control us. This is when mindfulness can really help. We use that second between stimulus and response to avoid ‘reaction mode’ and shift to ‘response mode’. We acknowledge the difficulty, but then shift focus to what can be done next. Practice mindfulness, breathing, or even journaling to develop this skill over time.

3. Take action, especially when it’s hard. Again, this is quite difficult, but it is so important. The hardest workouts feel the most rewarding, or the challenging conversation is usually the most fulfilling. The biggest obstacle is often inertia as we tend to hesitate or avoid action in the face of difficulty. But forward movement, no matter how small, is huge! Make that call, hit the gym, start that project. Action builds momentum, and momentum makes obstacles feel smaller.

Life and work will constantly present challenges, but how we respond defines our success. When we start seeing obstacles not as interruptions but as the way forward we become more resilient, more adaptable, and more capable of handling whatever comes next.

Here’s to finishing the week strong!

Until next time friends, stay resilient.

Carre @ Resilient Minds