Pressure is a privilege

Every time I step on stage for a crowd, my heart still races. It’s a strange feeling because I’ve spoken to large audiences many times, and I always arrive prepared. However, regardless of the previous experiences and the practice runs, those butterflies still appear.

And then I remember that those nerves are a signal. They signal that I care about the moment and I’m doing something meaningful. And then I remind myself about how lucky it is to even have the chance to be there.

It’s a privilege to feel that pressure.

“Pressure is a privilege” is a saying from Billie Jean King, the former US tennis player. The story goes that she was captain of the US team during a tense international competition, and she used it as encouragement for a younger tennis player to get in the zone before a tough match.

She was trying to tell the player that pressure means we’ve earned the right to be here. She wanted her to remember that amateurs watch in comfort of the seats, but the pros step into the arena and sweat under the lights. 

King was framing the pressure not as a burden for the player, but rather a signal of opportunity. It’s the fact that we're in a position that others aren’t, that we’ve worked hard enough to earn the chance to face something big.

That chance can appear in the sports arena, but it can also appear in the arena of business. At work, this privileged pressure often shows up as a signal of trust. It means someone believes we can deliver when it counts. And it’s what separates responsibility from irrelevance.

Sometimes when the nerves kick in, we might even interpret that pressure as punishment. But we can switch the mindset to seeing this pressure as validation and proof. It’s proof that people trust us, proof that our work matters and proof that we’re stretching into something larger than our comfort zone.

Of course, not all pressure is positive. There’s a line between meaningful challenge and harmful overload. It’s helpful pressure compared to overwhelming pressure. If someone is facing unmanageable pressure (ill-health, burnout, overloaded responsibilities), it’s not a privilege. Rather, it’s a red flag that something needs to adjust.

Pressure tested.

The science around pressure is also quite interesting - physiologically, pressure and excitement look almost identical. That means that our body doesn’t actually distinguish the difference between fear and focus, but the story we tell ourselves does.

When we label that quickened heartbeat as anxiety, our nervous system braces for impact. But if we call it (and believe that it is) excitement and readiness (as if the body is preparing for something meaningful) we can harness the adrenaline for performance.

So instead of trying to escape pressure, we can train for it. Athletes build tolerance to the nerves with repetition and practice. It’s how they grow. Leaders and professionals can do the same.

5 tools to build pressure-withstanding resilience

1. Pressure pre-framing. Before the next big presentation, pitch, or performance conversation, we should take a breath and remind ourselves that this pressure means that a) we’re doing something that matters; and b) that we care about doing a good job. That acknowledgement allows us to rest a little easier and shifts the brain from threat mode to challenge mode. We quit defending and focus on delivering.

2. Reset that nervous system. When our pulse spikes, we can do what pilots and athletes do: a physiological sigh. It’s my favourite breathing technique because it’s quick and offers immediate impact. Two inhales through the nose, one long exhale out the mouth. It drops cortisol, steadies our hands, and brings our focus back to the present moment. (When we’ve exhaled deeply after a good cry, we’ve done this instinctively.)

3. Get yourself in trouble. If we always avoid pressure, we shrink our capacity to handle it. It’s a real life hack to start with small doses. Some examples include us choosing to speak up first in a meeting, or volunteer for a stretch assignment, and my fave….saying yes to something that scares me a little. If we get ourselves in that little bit of trouble, we push ourselves to find the way out. Each repetition is like a gym rep for our resilience. Our threshold for tension expands and what once felt overwhelming now feels normal.

4. Anchor phrase. I’m a big believer that words matter, especially when the heat is on. We can create a short phrase that brings us back to centre when chaos hits. Perhaps it’s “I’m ready for this." or “I’m nervous because I care.” This repetition builds wiring and over time, those words become our internal cue for composure. It’s like a verbal safety harness for the mind.

5. Post-pressure debrief. After any intense moment, we should review, but not ruminate. It’s so easy to pick apart everything we did wrong and lament the mistakes or trip-ups. But it’s actually the time to look forward. What can we use - good or bad? What worked? What cracked? And where can we strengthen? With reflection, every high-stakes moment becomes a masterclass in our growth.

Pressure means we’ve stepped into the ring and now we’re paying a small tax for our ambition. It’s the cost of caring about something enough to feel it in the stomach.

So when that pressure arrives, we’ll be ready. We’ll recognize that it’s an opportunity. We’ll breathe, we’ll steady our stance, and remember that it’s a privilege.

And let’s not also forget that diamonds are forged only under pressure. 😉 

Until next time friends, stay resilient. And see you in the arena!

Carré @ Resilient Minds

PS - want to reduce stress, anxiety, micromanagement, and burnout in your organization? We should talk about a workshop that will get teams thriving, even in the most challenging situations. Reply back here or find more info on my workshops page.

PPS - if you like tennis stories, you might like this one of Andre Agassi and finding a way to let go of what no longer served him.