Our full capacity to never give up

This is one of the greatest stories of perseverance and resilience I’ve ever come across. It’s the story of a 13-year old Aussie kid who went to extraordinary lengths to save his family stranded at sea.

Austin Appelbee was on holiday, kayaking and paddleboarding with his mum, his brother (12) and his sister (8) in Western Australia. They were in a bay, somewhat protected and calm, but the wind whipped up without much warning and began pushing them out into open ocean waters.

The wind can be sneaky and powerful in that part of the world. Within minutes, they were well off the coast with no way to call for help. They didn’t have a phone or any way to communicate their position so, with no option to wait for help, a devastating decision had to be made. The mum couldn’t leave her younger children alone, and so the oldest child stepped up.

It’s hard to comprehend the weight and complexity of that decision, and it’s not something we’d wish on anybody. This was the Indian Ocean, fierce and unforgiving, with great white sharks spotted in these waters regularly. They were now miles off the coast, but there was no other choice to be made. Young Austin knew it needed to be done.

Thus began his trek back to shore. At first he kept to his kayak, paddling as hard as he could. But the water was rough and the kayak began taking on too much water. With about 4kms left to go, he jumped out of the kayak and continued swimming.

“Not today, not today, not today.” - Austin, while he was in the water. 

He swam the first part with his lifejacket on, but it was slowing him down so he ditched the safety device and swam the rest without it. When he finally reached land after hours in open water, he then had to run another 2kms to reach a phone and call emergency services!

He had done what he could, but the light of the day was fading and Austin wasn’t sure it had been enough. Thankfully, his mum and siblings were found, a whopping 14km offshore! They were alive, clinging to paddleboards and kayaks.

What a legend Austin is! This kid found a way to do something incredible, focusing on doing the next right thing… again and again… while scared. That’s resilience if I’ve ever seen it. Surrounded by fear and still finding a way to stay present and focused when everything in the body wants to panic.

What happens in the brain in these moments?

When someone we love is in danger, the body can access a level of capacity we almost never touch in everyday life. It’s biological.

In moments of extreme threat, the brain’s amygdala signals a full survival response. The nervous system shifts rapidly into acute stress mode, releasing adrenaline, cortisol, and endorphins. Together, these chemicals mobilize stored energy, increase oxygen to muscles, suppress pain signals, and temporarily override fatigue. The body becomes unrestricted. The capacity is always there, hidden because we simply don’t need it. It just takes something that truly matters for the brain to get out of the way.

Here’s the piece that I really notice. Stories like Austin’s are reminders that we rarely access our full capacity unless something truly matters.

Most of the time we stop early or give ourselves excuses to quit. When that happens, it’s likely because we don’t care enough. But when love is on the line, it’s a whole other ball game.

Great leaders appreciate this and spend time understanding what drives their team members. They take time to learn about the person in their team because they know that, when we find alignment to something that matters, we’re capable of doing amazing things.

I’m not suggesting that our work generates the same feeling as protecting a family member, but it’s a potent force when purpose is clear and our connections are stronger.

Stepping up

Most of us can’t imagine facing something like what Austin endured, even as adults. But we do face moments where the conditions change, the metaphoric winds swell and we find ourselves in deep sh!t. That’s when there’s no choice but to step up and do what needs to be done.

Here are a few tools to consider the next time things get difficult.

1. Our “Not today” filter. When pressure hits, the mind can catastrophize and question belief. We wonder if we can do this but Austin’s phrase of “Not today” protected his belief. It was his way of saying that failure was not an option he was entertaining right now. He just needed that commitment. We can leverage this when things feel overwhelming. Belief comes first and strategy follows. Because once belief is locked, action becomes possible.

2. Borrowed strength. Austin was swimming for the survival of his family. At one point, he thought about his friends, girlfriend and even Thomas the Tank Engine. These happy things act as a great filtering tool, almost like hacking into gratitude in the toughest moments. When motivation dips or fatigue sets in, we have to remember who/what we are doing this for because, if we tie effort to someone or something we care about, borrowed strength fuels our own.

3. The next right thing. If Austin set out with the thought of the 4kms ahead of him, or the shark-filled water, he would have likely crumbled. Instead, he just got started and focused on the next right thing. Then the next. Then the next. That’s how competence under pressure shows up. When a situation feels too big, we need to identify the next actionable step and get it done as best as possible. Progress and momentum are such powerful tools.

Austin’s story is a magnificent example of purpose unlocking capacity. When something truly matters, we find strength in places we didn’t know were possible.

It’s not going to be a wild ocean with sharks for us, but think about the day ahead. Things will be annoying, frustrating, hard, and we may want to quit. In those moments, resilience is about staying present, finding the next right step, and choosing not today.

Not today.

Carré at Resilient Minds