The first resilient coach we meet

When I climbed Mt Kilimanjaro, it was the mums who made it to the top. It was a group tour that I was on, and there were several mums in the group. The grueling final day tested all of us, and the ones who were able to find that extra strength were the ones who’d tapped into that strength a thousand times before.

Mums are tough! They know what’s up. They understand what is required and never forget it. They’re the nurturers and fierce protectors, while also being attentive, kind and loving.

They’re also our teachers and guides, so often they show up as the first resilience coaches we ever meet. They model resilience in a thousand ways. They adapt, sacrifice and notice. They protect. They keep going. They keep us going.

Stories of mums.

There are millions of resilience stories when it comes to mothers, and we never have to look far to find them.

These stories are in the mums who get everyone out the door while running on fumes. The grandmothers who become second parents. The step mums who love without needing the spotlight. The aunties, mentors, teachers, coaches, and friends who mother in ways that might not fit neatly into any single definition.

Because motherhood is bigger than biology.

It’s presence, care, protection, investment. It’s the willingness to help someone grow, even when the world never sees the work that happened before the result.

That is what so many mothers and mother figures do.

They help be ready for life’s big moments. They believe in us before the proof arrives.
They notice when we’re tired before we admit it. They protect us in whatever way they can.

And there are leadership lessons in that too.

The strongest leaders are the ones who know what each moment requires. Sometimes people need a push. Sometimes they need protection. Sometimes they need belief. Sometimes they need rest.

Real resilience has room for both the courage to keep going and the wisdom to know when to pause.

Here are a few short stories about the impact of mums.

1. Wanda Durant.

   Kevin Durant is one the best basketball players on the planet. When he won the NBA MVP award in 2014, his speech became famous for one line to his mother: “You the real MVP”. It was one simple line, but it landed because of everything behind it. Wanda had raised him and his brother as a single mother. Durant spoke about her sacrifices, including making sure they ate even when she went without. Again, the resilience of a mother. Far from glamorous, a daily grind, a promise to just somehow figure it out.

2. Nellie Biles

   Before Simone Biles became one of the greatest gymnasts in history, she spent time in foster care. She and her younger sister were later adopted by her grandparents, Ron and Nellie Biles, who became her parents and gave her the stable foundation she needed to grow. An example of the value of safety and stability. Creating a home where our nervous system can finally exhale. We talk a lot about grit and courage when we talk about resilience. All of that matters, but that capability doesn’t just grow on it’s own. It grows when somewhere along the way another person gives us enough steadiness to stand on.

3. Tor Pekai Yousafzai.

   Malala Yousafzai’s mother, Tor Pekai, is an example of ongoing growth. Malala became known around the world for fighting for girls education under the rule of the Taliban. But a part of that story is that Malala’s actions inspired her mother to begin learning to read and write herself. She didn’t have the same access to educational opportunities that he daughter received, but she recognized that it’s never too late to push boundaries and grow in new ways. I love that because it reminds us that motherhood is also about continuing to grow, even when it might be hard or feels awkward.

Lessons that mums provide.

Here are three ways we can take some inspiration from the mums of the world and apply to our own lives.

1. Keep showing up. 

   So much of what mothers do happens behind the scenes: the planning, worrying, remembering, encouraging, and making-it-work when everything changes. Often, there is no applause. But the work still counts, even when nobody sees it. It all matters.

2. Adapt when the plan changes. 

   Mothers are master adapters. The child gets sick. The meeting runs late. The dinner burns. The meltdown arrives at the worst possible time. And somehow, they find another way through. Not perfectly. Not always calmly. But they pause, scan, adjust, and take the next best step.

3. Protect the long game. 

   One of the most powerful things mothers do is notice when someone has had enough. They know when to push, and when to pull someone back. That is wisdom. Resilience is so often related to an ability to understand how to keep going without losing ourselves in the process.

Mother’s Day can feel so much bigger than flowers and brunch. Although, for the record, flowers and brunch are still very welcome….we can’t mess that part up. But underneath it all, this day is a chance to honour the people who helped us become more resilient before we even knew what resilience was.

Mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers, mentors, coaches.

The women who showed up, stayed steady, adjusted the plan, protected the long game, and helped us believe we had another lap in us.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the resilient mums and mother figures out there. You’re often the reason someone else made it to the starting line.

Until next time friends, stay resilient.

Carré @ Resilient Minds