Mindset IS luck

Imagine this scenario for a moment.

You’re standing in line at the bank with about 15 other people. You’re there for something simple and quick.

Then the door slams open.

A masked gunman bursts in, yelling and waving a gun. It feels like a scene from a movie as everyone hits the floor in a panic. The gunman grabs some cash and is quickly on his way out. But, just as he’s leaving, something spooks him. He spins, the gun accidentally goes off, and a single bullet flies across the room.

That bullet hits you.

It’s not a direct hit, as it grazes your arm, but it still hurts like hell. You feel it right away, but you know it’s in your arm so you’ll survive.

As the gunman escapes, everyone rushes to help you. You’re the only person injured during the whole robbery. So here’s the question:

In that moment, do you feel lucky or unlucky?

Really sit with it for a second before you read on.

This simple story and question says a lot about our mindset and the way we interpret life.

On one hand, we could certainly say we’re lucky. The bullet only grazed us, we’re alive, and we’ll most likely make a full recovery. And hey, we’ll have a story to tell for the rest of our lives!

Or we might say we’re unlucky. Out of everyone in the bank, we’re the only one who got shot. “Why did this have to happen to me?!”

It’s the same event, with two completely different stories.

This isn’t really about a bank robbery. It’s about everyday life, because we face dozens of small “lucky or unlucky?” moments every day.

We’re stuck in traffic because the city is rebuilding a road near our house. Those roadworks slow us down. We can complain about it, or we can see it as proof that our tax dollars are literally being poured into the streets around our home.

Or the executive team drops a last-minute request on our desk. It’s a request to pull together a PowerPoint for tomorrow’s big presentation. We can grumble about the timing, or we can treat it as a golden chance to get our work in front of senior leaders and show them what we can do.

The event is the same. The story we tell about it is where our power lives.

If we can train our brain to consistently see ourselves as “lucky” (without pretending everything is perfect), it changes how we meet problems in life and business.

Here are three practical tools to help you do exactly that.

1. “Compared to what?” This is a deceptively simple question that can completely shift our perspective. When something frustrating, disappointing, or painful happens, we ask ourselves: “I’m unlucky….compared to what?”. For the bank example, we’re unlucky compared to the version of the day where there’s no robbery at all and we stroll out without any drama. But then flip it…. unlucky compared to being shot in the chest? Or compared to not making it home that night? “No way!” we’ll tell ourselves, and then instantly the story softens. This doesn’t deny that something happened. It just widens the frame.

2. Look for luck. This one is like gratitude with a twist. At the end of each day, we write down three specific ways we were lucky today. For this, we need to zoom in. “The train was delayed, but I still made it to the meeting on time.” or “I almost sent that email with a major typo, but caught it at the last second.” So many moments like this happen everyday, but we tend to dismiss them. However, if we mindfully notice our luck, we’re feeding our brain real data that good things do happen to us, more regularly than we think! If we do this for a couple of weeks, we’ll start walking into each day with the mindset that things tend to work out for us…and that’s a mindset shift that can be extremely powerful when we’re stuck in the messy middle of life.

3. CVS to BVS. This is one of my faves and I always mention it in workshops and presentations. When something goes “wrong,” our brain tends to lock onto one version of events: the unlucky, worst-case, self-blaming one. That’s our Current View of the Situation (CVS). The goal is to deliberately create a Better View of the Situation (BVS). It’s not intended to be fake or fluffy, just a more helpful, generous story that could also be true. To do this, we should grab a piece of paper and create three columns across the page. Column 1 is the event (what actually happened), column 2 is the standard CVS, and column 3 is our BVS. The key with the BVS is to make sure it is still true (no fantasies), more helpful and also more empowering. We’re training the brain to remember that there is always more than one way to read this moment.

Here’s an example of CVS to BVS:

• Event = didn’t get the promotion.

• CVS = We’re unlucky and always overlooked.

• BVS = We got clear feedback on what needs to be sharpened for next time. Or we can always look for other roles that truly fit us.

All of these tools can change how we interpret almost anything… including the ‘bullets of life‘ that only graze us. And, with a bit of practice, we’ll realize that we’ve been luckier than we thought, which makes us more resilient than we know.

Until next time friends, stay resilient!

Carré @ Resilient Minds

PS - a final reminder to those in Vancouver who’d like to attend my Pause before the Claus event in Mt Pleasant. It’s practically free and is a great way to find some calm before the Holiday Season kicks into overdrive!