I see you

We just wrapped up a thrilling and successful Little League season, with our mighty Giants finishing in a valiant second place! What made it even more rewarding is that we started the season 0–7. No wins, lots of fumbles, plenty of distractions. And yet, these kids kept going. They showed grit, resilience (my fave word!), a lot of focus through the final few weeks, and (most importantly) a sense of contribution to something bigger than themselves - the team that needed each of them to show up.

After the final game, some of the parents took the time to say thank you to us coaches for the time, energy, and encouragement we’d given their kids. I can’t help but admit that it feels fantastic to see and feel genuine appreciation for the hard work we put in.

Because recognition is one of life’s great pursuits - just to know that we’re making a difference. That our contribution matters. That we’re useful.

This desire to be useful is deeply human. And it certainly doesn’t go away the older we get. In fact, it might get even louder as we show determination to be heard (everyone knows an elderly neighbour who needs to be included). But we should remember this need, especially when we’re in workplaces that chip away at that sense of value.

A friend recently reminded me of the film The Intern. Robert De Niro plays a retired executive who takes a ‘senior internship’ (an internship for senior citizens) at a fashion start-up. He’s dismissed at first, overlooked and patronized for being antiquated. But over time, it’s not just his experience that proves valuable - it’s his presence, wisdom, kindness, and his steady support.

It’s a feel-good story, and one I wish wasn’t just a film. Because for many people I’ve been talking to over the last few months, the reality is far less heartwarming.

They’re not being seen. They’re not growing. Instead, they’re being micromanaged or, even worse, excluded entirely. And now, with AI, most are being made to feel like their contributions could be automated or eliminated at any moment.

It’s not okay for businesses to ignore the emotional impact of making people feel useless.

But that’s what micromanagement does, and it’s completely debilitating.

When we feel we’re not trusted or not needed, it drains our confidence and kills our energy.

No wonder so many people feel disengaged at work. No wonder burnout is rising.
It’s not always because of the workload - the meaninglessness is devastating us.

However, this is our moment for resilience.

Of course, we can always address the micromanagement and remind others of the value we bring. That might help and it’s a good place to start. However, poor leaders who are already micromanaging are likely not going to be interested in hearing what we have to say.

In fact, expecting a micromanaging leader to suddenly change character is wishful thinking. And expecting a company culture to completely flip is unrealistic. Instead, the best thing to do is to build our resilience.

In this situation, resilience means remembering that our usefulness does not come from someone else’s opinion of us. (read that again)

It comes from what we choose to bring, over and over, no matter the environment.

So when we’re feeling undervalued or micromanaged, the only thing we can do is respond. With clarity, with intention, and with grace. We can:

• Hold onto our sense of value, even when it’s not mirrored back.

• Define our own contribution so we’re not beholden to others granting us some sense of worth.

• Navigate upward with courageous conversations or subtle shifts that create more space.

• Choose usefulness on our own terms. If it’s not given, we have to find it.

Some tools to help:

Find the anchor. What’s the one value we place above all others, that allows us to show up each time? It might differ from day to day, but the idea is consistent. How do we want to show up, regardless of the environment? Is it compassion? Creativity? Calm? Let that guide our actions, even if no one else sees it. The best way to do this is to invest 2-3 minutes sitting down mindfully and writing down how we intend to proceed. Make it real, make it tangible. And then get to work.

Set micro-boundaries. Let’s claim back some space by thinking of one small area that we can reclaim. It could be a task that we can own fully, or a decision we make without asking. These tiny acts of autonomy compound over time to give us a sense of value and empowerment that can help us stay the course. If we can’t find it at the office, maybe we claim it through a personal project, or a space at home where we lead and decide freely.

Shift the spotlight. Who can we be useful for today, outside our reporting line or official role? Perhaps a colleague, a junior team member, or even a stranger needs us today. Usefulness doesn’t only flow upward. It can flow in any direction and it reminds us of the value we can provide to anyone. Regardless of who it is, we get to choose how we show up for others.

Feeling useful isn’t about the praise or credit. It’s simply about believing that we’re adding something of value.

Because, while we can't always change our situation, we can absolutely strengthen our response.

If you're in a workplace or relationship that’s eroding your confidence, it’s okay to feel frustrated. You’re not imagining it. But please don’t let that environment decide who you are. Use it to your advantage. Use the difficulty.

Until next time friends, stay resilient.

Carre @ Resilient Minds

PS - getting a team on the same page is a great way to start this resilience journey. A resilience workshop for your team could be an excellent investment to bring everyone together, improve communication, and set the business up for success. And your micromanager will get something out of it too! ;-)